Millions of Americans send thank-you notes to John McCain's skull

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- The Arizona Republic is reporting that millions of Americans are sending U.S. Senator John McCain’s brain tumor heartfelt thank-you letters.

John McCain’s brain tumor did not respond to requests for comment, but this morning, McCain’s spokesman released copies of the fan-mail it's received from supporters across the country,  praising its "heroic role in blocking Obamacare repeal and saving all our lives."

Dear brain tumor inside John McCain's head,

 

I usually think of brain tumors as a Republican idea. But you sure showed me. Thank you for standing up to Mitch McConnell. 

 

Yours,

Mariama Dee Yallo

Boston, MA

 

 

Dear Tumor,

 

I’ve been against cancer for years. I grew up in a firmly anti-cancer household. My mom died battling cancer in 2011. As an adult, I’ve organized walks against breast cancer, run three marathons to stop skin cancer, and twice filed suit against Winston Morris as part of my campaign against lung cancer.

 

As an anti-cancer activist, I never thought this day would come - but we live in strange times: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Today, I realized we're on the same side: in fact, you're fighting cancer with cancer. I don't admire your tactics, but extreme times come for extreme measures. I misjudged you.  #notallcancers. Thanks to you, John McCain is finally doing the right thing by millions of Americans who are poised to lose their health care if the GOP succeeds in repealing Obamacare. Keep up the good work.

 

Yours,

Matthew Iglea

Bayfield, CO

Dearest brain turmor,

 

I've never written a brain tumor before. But I think you're great, brain tumor. I heard about you on the news. Please accept this box of chocolates as a token of my sincere admiration. Romantically, I don't want anything from you, except to tell you: I love you, brain tumor. You’ve reduced Americans like me to tears of relief and gratitude. Rock on, my dear brain tumor. At a time when Republicans are trying to kill us all, no one is doing more important work for the cause of universal health care in America than the work that you are doing today, except maybe President Hillary Rodham Clinton. 

 

Love, your fan,

Mary Barnes Fashan,

Miami, FL

In addition to thousands of thank-you letters, the Republic reports that Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor and Jon Favreau sent John McCain’s brain tumor 12,000 yellow congratulatory roses via their sponsor, ProFlowers. The Pod Save America hosts are reportedly feeling out John McCain’s brain tumor about hosting a spinoff podcast, Body Republic, based on its experience leading the forefront of Democratic health care strategy.