Doctors tell Michael Flynn there's no immunity for treason
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Modern science has its limits. On Tuesday, Dr. Kimberly Ahn of New York Presbyterian Hospital was forced to inform Michael Flynn that, "there is no immunity for treason."
"Small pox, rubella, sure," Ahn said. "But not treason," she told the disgraced former general, who cried while shaking his head.
For the last two weeks, Flynn has been crisscrossing the East Coast in a desperate search for doctors who might provide him with immunity for treason, a deadly condition that ends in execution.
"His prognosis is horrible," said Dr. Ahn. "I don't think he'll survive Sally Yates' testimony next week."
Flynn developed symptoms in 2014, when he received more than $56,000 from three Russian entities, including $33,750 from Russia Today after dining with Russian President Vladimir Putin, who paid Flynn to try to steal the U.S. election from President Hillary Rodham Clinton.
"At this stage, Flynn is untreatable. It's unclear whether the traitor is contagious. But certainly, his treason was a sexism transmitted disease, and it should have been diagnosed in 2016, given the textbook signs: Flynn's implacable hatred of HIllary Clinton, misogynist tendency to scream 'lock her up,'; and insatiable appetite for money," said Dr. Ahn. "Plus, we know he had liasons with Russian Ambassador and known vector Sergey Kislyak."
Ahn urged all Republican men suffering those symptoms to seek immediate medical treatment, "before you die."