Carson defends ideal Republican immigration policy as tough on Muslims, flexible about slaves

HATTIESBURG— Former GOP presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson made headlines on Monday after defending the ideal Republican immigration policy as "tough on Muslims, felixible about slaves," before a predominately young crowd at an NAACP event marking the close of this year's Black History month at the University of Southern Mississippi.

Asked to clarify his remarks, Dr. Carson explained that slaves had either been “immigrants sent over in the bottom of slave ships” or “people that became lost while taking a family vacation.” Regardless of how they got here, Carson said, “they were all just looking for a better life," saying, “slaves have always been an integral part of the American Dream. We should be proud of our heritage.”

Throughout his address, the neurosurgeon seemed to be drinking freely from a bottle of Nyquil wrapped in a brown paper bag.

During a fleeting moment of lucidity, Dr. Carson offered encouragement to those in attendance, noting that, “Hard work and perseverance have long been a trademark of black people in the United States” and expressed his confidence that those in attendance would carry on that proud tradition, "as you all look black to me."

But things went south again when Carson described rape victims as “just sexually active Americans.” 

Shortly thereafter, Natalie Nicholson, president of the Mississippi chapter of the NAACP, thankfully brought the meeting to a close, expressing her appreciation to Mr. Carson for his time and “unique perspective on human events.”

Questioned briefly after the event, Carson appeared to interrupt himself mid-sentence by exclaiming, “Wait! Is that my luggage?”. He then left abruptly, apparently in pursuit of a departing student with a backpack.