Republicans in Congress demand immediate repeal and replace of Obamacare

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two months into the presidency of Hillary Rodham Clinton, Republicans in Congress continue to obstruct Democratic governance. Their latest effort involves filibustering any proposed legislation that does not offer a plan to immediately repeal and replace Obamacare, at least until the 2018 midterm elections.

In a press conference earlier today, House Minority Leader Paul Ryan argued that Americans should be able to decide the future of healthcare with the next election cycle, and that in the meantime the system should be scrapped altogether. "The problem of Obamacare is clear. The solutions are even clearer. We need an immediate repeal, and a simple, common sense, bipartisan replacement. It would be quick and easy," Ryan promised. 

Press Secretary Leslie Jones fired back swiftly. In an unscheduled White House Press Briefing, Jones questioned whether Republicans would even be able to come up with a passable replacement if given the chance. "These clowns," she sighed dejectedly. "No one's saying Obamacare is perfect. But come on now. Let's be big boys and girls, if only for a few days." 

While the president has not yet commented on the latest demands from the GOP, failed presidential candidate Donald Trump took to Twitter to vent. "Call your representatives and demand a total repeal of Obamacare NOW," the reality star tweeted. Minutes later, he continued: "Healthcare couldn't be simpler. If you asshats had elected the man behind The Art of the Deal, we wouldn't be in this mess right now."