Canada-Mexico overpass put on hold

OTTAWA -- Canadian plans to build an overpass spanning the entire continental United States to Mexico have been postponed.

“The idea made a lot of sense when there was a possibility that Donald Trump might win the presidency,” revealed Chief Civil Engineer Casey Jones. “The overpass would have allowed trade between Canada and Mexico to continue unimpeded, circumventing border delays and unfair tariffs by the United States. But now that President Clinton has won and longstanding trade agreements are to be honored, we’ll just use the interstates like always.”

The proposed overpass would have been the longest suspension bridge ever created, utilizing thousands of gigantic hot air balloons to keep it aloft. Drivers from both countries would have had to drive slightly uphill for half the journey until they reached the summit, after which they would have been able to coast down in neutral for the second half. The trip would have been an arduous 30 hour drive, but still preferable to dealing with border crossing issues under a Trump-led America with Interstate truck stops serving exclusively Trump steaks.

Despite the cancellation, the project has been hailed as glowing example of international cooperation, with the each country volunteering to pay for half, because -- as former Mexican President Vicente Fox made clear -- “that’s what good neighbors do when a project is mutually agreed upon.”