Preet Bharara confirmed as Attorney General, Jeff Sessions skips vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The U.S. Senate voted on Friday afternoon to confirm Preet Bharara as Attorney General. Receiving 99 “Yea” votes, Bharara will be sworn into office within the next few days. Republican Senator Jeff Sessions skipped the vote entirely—the sole senator to do so—for reasons still left unexplained.

President Hillary Clinton told reporters earlier today that Bharara was always first on her list to replace Eric Holder. Originally nominated by President Obama to serve as U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, Bharara has an impressive list of accomplishments, as is expected for the nominee of an office of such magnitude. While serving New York, he fought financial fraud, arms trafficking, and terrorism with grit and foresight. 

Senator Sessions has not responded to our request for comment, but he did post the number 14, a seeming reference to a white nationalist group’s slogan that calls for the preservation of the white race. Sources close to Sessions have revealed that the senator feels “a great swell of pity” for modern neo-Nazis and Klansmen, who have been routinely stifled under the Clinton administration.

As Attorney General, Bharara has committed to fighting for Americans who have been unfairly afflicted by backwards social policies. Activists have hailed Bharara’s confirmation as “yet another step in the right direction.”