Paul Ryan peer-pressured into tipping at Arlington restaurant

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Politico's Mike Allen is reporting that House Minority Leader Paul Ryan was peer-pressured into tipping a waitress while dining with two Catholic priests at a Chili’s in Arlington, VA this weekend.

Eyewitnesses tell Politico that initially, all appeared fine at Ryan's table, where the Republican politician shared Loaded Boneless Wings and Original Chicken Crisper with his companions while they enjoyed an animated conversation about the Catholic Church.

Then the check came.

“All of a sudden, what seemed like a pleasant discussion about killing Planned Parenthood gynaecologists turned deeply tense,” said Alexa Goldberg, who was eating in the booth next to Ryan's.

Her tablemate, Jenna Bloom, agreed. “The check came, and because the two guys Ryan was with had each ordered margaritas, but Ryan had only ordered the bottomless iced tea, the two guys suggested that they would pay the bill and Ryan would just cover the tip," she said. "That’s when things got ugly.”

Ryan, who has publicly distanced himself from the philosophies of Ayn Rand, started screaming, "What would Ayn Rand do? Hm? I must adhere to her philosophy!" 

Bloom said Ryan started pointing at the itemized receipt, screaming, "It says $8.99 on the menu! So we're gonna pay $8.99, and not a penny more!"

Goldberg continued, “The priest was going on about the meaning of Christianity, of how all of Christ’s teachings really underscore that we should be charitable, be a giver. Especially in cases like this when the waitress earned the tip, and did such a great job—I mean, that iced tea was truly bottomless.”

By all reports, Ryan became belligerent. “Rand says self-interest is good! I am acting in my own self-interest and I am pocketing the $5.88! It’s a slippery slope. I mean, what’s next, a Republican-backed universal health care program?”

Gentle chuckling followed, which broke the tension.

“I couldn’t quite hear what happened next, but I did see Ryan reluctantly take a five and a one and put them down on the table,” said Bloom.

Ryan later returned to the table on the premise of retrieving his hat, and quietly pocketed one of the bills. Witnesses could not tell whether it was the five or the one.

The waitress declined to comment, but based on the look on her face, it was the five.