Putin goes two days without killing a journalist: Has he lost his mojo?

LONDON -- Amnesty International confirmed Wednesday that it has been at least two days since Russian President Vladamir Putin killed a journalist.

"It's unprecedented," said Sheila Yousef, Deputy Secretary of State. "Suddenly, everyone here at the State Department is asking themselves, 'has the brutal Russian leader lost his mojo?'"

Putin has been in a downward spiral since November, when his attempts to interfere in the American election backfired horribly and Hillary Rodham Clinton, his nemesis, defeated Donald J. Trump by a humiliating 3 million votes.

Since then, things have only gotten worse for Putin, who in just the last two weeks has been dogged by rumors of domestic violence and repeatedly seen wearing a shirt. CIA officials speculate that Putin may or may not be coming down from performance enhancing drugs, and Kremlin experts say Putin is very upset that German Chancellor Angela Merkel and U.S. President Hillary Rodham Clinton were "ganging up on him again, with Trudeau as their adorable Canadian puppydog sidekick."

Last month, the Wall Street Journal reported that Russia was attempting to reclaim more than $500 million that the Kremlin loaned Trump over the course of the campaign "to finance election sabotage, felony wire-tapping, the candidate's budget for prostitutes, the Wikileaks slush fund, and any legal costs arising from U.S. Attorneys charging Donald Trump and/or his surrogates with treason."

Good luck getting it back.