Donald Trump hires Wharton professor, hopes to learn alphabet before NY mayoral election

NEW YORK – Lending credence to rumors during his failed presidential run that he never learned how to read, so-called businessman Donald Trump has hired a former Wharton professor to be his personal aide while he campaigns to become Mayor of New York.

The professor recently left Wharton to found a non-profit dedicated to helping adults with slower reading levels.

Anonymous sources from within the campaign have revealed that Trump believes his inability to read crippled his presidential run last year, and that he can now be heard singing the Alphabet Song—occasionally jumbled—while he showers. After the leaks, Trump tweeted: “Ridikulous claims being made. Flake nuise. Make New Yolk Gr8 Again.”