Clinton to live in White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Clinton has stunned the American people with her groundbreaking choice to live and work in the White House – located in the nation’s Capitol, the little-known heart of U.S. government – upending expectations that she would hole up eating taco bowls in her gilded NYC tower.

“I think it makes tactical sense,” said Clinton, recognizing that she is following a weak precedent set by just 44 acting presidents before her.

Despite joint protest by the Republican and Democratic caucuses, Clinton argues that governing from D.C. would be “more efficient” and possibly “easier than uprooting the entire government, interrupting the traditional geography of political discourse and hiring a fleet of 16-ton dumptrucks filled with sand” as her security detail. Clinton is slated to move into the White House after her inauguration.