U.S. grapples with its long, violent history of oppressing women

WASHINGTON D.C. -- On the eve of Hillary Clinton's historic inauguration as the first woman president of the United States, newspapers across the country are starting to notice that her achievement is "a pretty big deal for American women," according to knowledgable white man Jon Favreau, host of the podcast Keeping it 1600. 

Still, progressive media outlets like the New York Times, Jezebel and Jonathan Chait's Twitter Feed have so far downplayed this redemptive chapter in American history, choosing to instead explore the "meaninglessness of Clinton's achievement in an age of gender reconciliation." 

A few publications, however, have gone rogue. This week, in his electric cover story, "Feminist Amnesia," Teen Vogue writer Ta-Nehisi Coates argues that America was founded on the fundamental values of "denying women freedom, liberty and power and defining them as the property of white men." Coates further claims that the Constitution was designed as a "social contract to protect softboys, fuckboys and the flaccid male penis."

But Fox News host Sean Hannity responded to Coates in prime time last night, saying the public intellectual's interpretation of American history was wrong. "The prostitutes I keep on retainer always say they 'wish they could go back 100 years, when women had it good. Women were so much safer when they were property!'"