David Cameron defends pig-fucking as more gentlemanly than Trump’s sexual predation

LONDON – In his first public appearance since resigning as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron condemned failed presidential candidate Donald Trump’s comments about and treatment of women. “It’s truly despicable,” Cameron said of Trump’s behavior.

Cameron was driven underground by the angry British populace post-Brexit, but has since re-emerged to perform reputational damage control.

According to The Daily Mail, Cameron hopes Donald Trump’s crimes against women replace rumors of his own sexual deviance: In 2014, Cameron was accused of public bestiality with a pigs’s corpse.

“At least I got my rocks off with a dead animal, not an unwilling woman,” Cameron said. “In my opinion, that’s much more gentlemanly.”