Tinder blocks rude men from popular dating app

WEST HOLLYWOOD – In a press release today, Match Group – owner of Tinder, Match.com, and OkCupid – announced that Tinder’s programmers discovered how to block rude straight men from using their apps.

“Our new code analyzes metadata on the user’s phone,” the press release states. “It allows us to look at the number of times ‘babe,’ ‘baby,’ and ‘bae’ have been used in conversation with women, how many gym selfies, shirtless photos, and dick pics are saved, and the number of times he has used the phrase ‘I’m hanging with the boys tonight’ as an excuse to flake on plans.”

If the code uncovers sufficient evidence of a user being a rude straight man, it disables access to the app. Sighs of relief from straight women ages 18-30 have been heard across the country.