Kim Jong Un wears Hillary-inspired pantsuit as sign of respect for United States

PYONGYANG –  According to photos released by North Korea's state news agency, at the May Day Festival in Pyongyang, Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un was seen sporting a trim white pantsuit - communicating his respect, and possibly his surrender, to President Hillary Rodham Clinton.

According to the state news agency, the North Korean leader told mandatory festival-goers, “North Korea is still the greatest country in the world, and the United States still kind of sucks. But President Clinton – she’s a good egg, and I respect the strong leadership she’s displayed. To be honest, she kind of scares me a little bit.”

Government officials in China and South Korea are stunned at the newfound sentiment of their usually volatile neighbor. “She’s accomplished something no other leader has been able to do,” China’s President Xi Jinping said, impressed. “Who knows how things would be going if that dipshit, temperamental crybaby Donald Trump had been elected.”

It is not the first time that Kim Jong Un has used fashion as a form of diplomatic outreach to the United States. 

“That clown Donald Trump didn't know how to wear a suit. His ties are too long, jackets are saggy. No wonder he didn’t win. Who could respect anyone who looks like that? No one wears a suit like President Clinton,” Kim Jong Un continued in his May Day speech as the crowd cheered at gun-point. 

Clinton has yet to comment on Kim Jong Un's latest sartorial outreach to her. But State Department sources report that the United States is considering entering into direct talks with North Korea about reducing the rogue state's nuclear arsenal, an unprecedented achievement in U.S. global diplomacy.