President Clinton tells Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein supporters: “No hard feelings”

WASHINGTON D.C. -- In her first Facebook Live broadcast from the Oval Office, President Hillary Rodham Clinton assured the tiny but ill-tempered minority of Democrats who supported Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders and Green Party candidate Jill Stein in Novemeber's election that she harbored “no hard feelings."

When a Bernie Bro Facebook user somehow hacked into Clinton's live Facebook feed, the President's smile visibly froze. She politely listened as the Bernie supporter proceeded to call her a "corporate whore," accuse her of cheating in the Democratic primaries that she resoundingly, decisively, easily won by three million votes, and cry that that a Trump presidency "would have been no different than your sell-out administration!" Throughout, Clinton smiled with equanimity until the Bernie Bro dissolved into deranged male wailing, at which point White House Chief of Staff Huma Abedin finally, mercifully figured out how to hang up on his call. 

"On the right or the left, there are unhinged people, and as long as I've been in politics, those people have always hated me for any number of reasons," Clinton said affably.

"Back to raising taxes," she said.